my boyfriend believes every new kitchen appliance is a personal attack on the cabinets. if i buy a new tool, he immediately asks where it will live, how much space it needs, and why a normal pot isn't good enough. i showed him a DASH Rapid Egg Cooker and he launched into a lecture about the ancient human art of boiling water.
the little cooker is designed to cook batches of eggs with a measured amount of water, and certain configurations can handle poached eggs or omelet-style cooking with included accessories. the whole appeal is convenience and consistent batches, not rewriting the laws of cooking. he called it unnecessary specialization. then he asked how many eggs it could handle at once.
within minutes he was comparing cooking times and talking about a hypothetical Sunday breakfast operation. i reminded him that this had been the same man who declared appliances should justify their existence before entering our home. he answered that research and ownership were separate matters. i told him it was fascinating how quickly ownership became important when breakfast was involved.
when we joked about dividing our belongings after an imaginary breakup, he claimed the egg cooker first. i said it belonged to whoever would actually use it. he said that was unfair because he planned to become the household egg specialist. the kitchen now has one more appliance and one more invented executive title.
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